this morning, start­ling rev­el­a­tions have sur­faced that the mav­erick french organ­isa­tion, “doc­tors without bor­ders” (medecins sans fron­ti­eres), tried to violate haitian air­space by entering the country by plane with five doc­tors on board, allegedly to “help the vic­tims of the haiti earthquake”.

luckily, air traffic con­trol run by the amer­ican mil­itary in haiti’s only air­port were able to inter­cept the air­craft before it could land, pre­venting the doc­tors from doing any more harm to the haitians who are bleeding and dying all over the place throughout the country.

one mil­itary officer on the scene told us the hor­ri­fying details of the organisation’s gall, “we had to turn them away at least 3 times,” he said. “they’ve been trying to enter since sunday, but thank­fully, everyone on duty had their guard up and did their jobs. we cannot let these doc­tors into this beau­tiful country and wreak havoc upon an already des­perate population.”

the officer went on to explain that the amer­icans have more exper­i­ence in dis­aster relief, stating that “we know what we are doing”, citing hur­ricane kat­rina in 2005 as a prime example of how to help an impov­er­ished black pop­u­la­tion in a sub­trop­ical area of the world.

“gee, i am really glad the amer­icans aren’t let­ting doc­tors into the country.”

in the press release, doc­tors without bor­ders stated:

Today, there are 12 people who need lifesaving ampu­ta­tions at Cho­scal Hos­pital. We were forced to buy a saw in the market to con­tinue ampu­ta­tions. We are run­ning against time here.

We don’t have any more morphine to manage pain for our patients. We cannot accept that planes car­rying lifesaving med­ical sup­plies and equip­ment con­tinue to be turned away while our patients die. Pri­ority must be given to med­ical sup­plies entering the country.

“can you believe it?” asked the officer after reading the press release. “they want to butcher these people without drugs! speaking of drugs, we cannot allow those into the country either.”

facts on the ground have revealed that the plane car­rying the five doc­tors also car­ried 85 tonnes of med­ical sup­plies, including drugs.

“this country is already a shit­storm. we cannot add fuel to the fire by dis­trib­uting drugs,” said an anonymous source involved in the relief effort.

to make mat­ters worse, aside from the five doc­tors and med­ical sup­plies that tried to infilt­rate haiti, doc­tors without bor­ders also tried to send more triage per­sonnel, a total of 26 on two sep­arate planes, on top of the 700 per­sonnel who are already oper­ating in the country.

one haitian stated emphat­ic­ally, “had these doc­tors and emer­gency per­sonnel arrived, per­haps i would still have my family, or my leg for that matter. it is a true blessing that these amer­icans are here to save us from such agony.”